12 Questions to Evaluate your Parents

We might think back to our pasts and give our carers a score out of ten to measure how things went. It isn’t unfair or mean sometimesin the privacy of our own mindsto hold people to account. Finish the sentence, “My Parent made mebelow and give each a score out of 10.

My parent made me:
feel deeply loved and wanted.
Was often highly attuned to what I actually felt
Was able to tolerate a degree of innocent disobedience
Was authentically happy about my success
Lacked sadistic impulses
Avoided imposing too many of their own issues on me
Didn’t demand to be admired
Wasn’t too exciting
Knew how to play
Had boundaries
Tolerated dissent
Took an interest in my ‘small’ joys and pains

We don’t need a score of a hundred and twenty to be robust, but if things were to drop much below sixty, there might be grounds for a good deal of reflection and sorrow.

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为什么我们都是瘾君子

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“Some people assume that you can’t really say what a good — or indeed a bad — parent actually is. But we don’t agree. So we’ve designed a checklist of what we think makes up a good parent…”

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