How Unloving Parents Generate Self-Hating Children

Our sense of self-worth is dependent upon the love we were shown as children. The legacy of an unloving parent may be a lifetime of self-hatred, which we need to unpick in order to escape.
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“A central fact about early childhood is that babies are born into the world entirely at the mercy of others. They have no native strength, intelligence or utility, they cannot fight or complain, walk away or argue their case, their survival depends solely on their capacity to look up from their cots with vast innocent beautiful eyes – and charm their parents into caring for them. It’s their power to attract love that ensures they will be fed and clothed, protected and kept alive.

In exchange for this nurture, young children readily offer their parents or caregivers unconditional admiration. They naturally adore and are boundlessly impressed by those who pick them up and bathe them, warm their milk and change their sheets. They are in awe at these giant people who know how to turn on a washing machine and kick a ball over a tree. There is – at this stage – no innate desire whatever to question or doubt figures of authority…”

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