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The weird thing about relationships is that the more we get to know someone, the harder it can be to desire them – and vice versa. What explains the curious way in which love and desire often split apart? Why can it be so hard to desire a person once one lives with them and cares deeply for them?
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“One of the frequent and painful paradoxes of romantic life is that the more we get to know and love someone, the harder it can be to summon up any sincere wish to sleep with them. Intimacy and closeness, far from fostering deeper sexual desire, can be the very ingredients that destroy excitement – whereas having only just recently met a person and not feeling too much for them can set up awkward yet ideal preconditions for wanting very badly to take them to bed…”

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