Rescue Fantasies

Some of us find it deeply romantic and attractive to imagine helping, or indeed ‘rescuing’ someone else; we have what are called ‘rescue fantasies’. These fantasies are often mocked or ridiculed in society at large, but they are deeply fascinating phenomena that deserve our attention and analysis.
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“Of the many desires we might harbour in relationships, few attract as much mockery or suspicion as ‘the rescue fantasy.’ According to this longing, a lover – normally a man – becomes unnaturally concerned with finding a partner – normally a woman – who is suffering and unhappy. While ostensibly interested in assuaging her grief, the lover is in reality more concerned with exploiting her vulnerability – for what are assumed to be nefarious ends. He is excited, perhaps even sexually, by her sadness and far from rescuing her, uses her sorrow to aggrandize himself. Even before mentioning the horse on which the rescuer might ride into town, this is all meant to – and does indeed – sound properly ridiculous, if not outright sinister.”

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