7 Signs You’re Not Too Nice, It’s Your Trauma

Are you always trying to be overly nice to others? Do you put their needs first, even if it hurts you? This video will help you understand something called “trauma fawning.” It’s a common reaction to childhood trauma and can be a sign of PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). Trauma fawning means you excessively seek approval and affection from people who hurt you in the past.

If you struggle with people-pleasing, this video is for you. We’ll talk about the signs of trauma fawning and how it relates to mental health, especially complex trauma and healing from it. We’ll also touch on keywords like PTSD, CPTSD (complex PTSD), and codependency, giving you a better understanding of this aspect of trauma.

1). You don’t feel “seen” 1:31
2). Your values become compromised 2:04
3). You feel responsible for other people’s reactions 2:38
4). You’re terrified of making decisions for others 3:14
5). You feel guilty about getting angry 3:50
6). You over-apologize 4:21
7). You don’t know how to say no 4:54

Writer: Chloe Avenasa
Script Editor: Kelly Soong
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice: Amanda Silvera
YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong

References:
Walker, P. (2018). Complex PTSD: From surviving to thriving. Tantor Audio.
Priebe, H. (29 Sep 2022). “Are You ‘Too Nice’ Or Are You Fawning?” [Video] YouTube,

• Are You ‘Too Nice’ Or Are You Fawning?
The Dawn Wellness Center & Rehab (2022). “Trauma and the Fawning Response: The Dark Side of People-Pleasing.” Retrieved from thedawnrehab.com/blog/trauma-and-the-fawning-response/
Gaba, S., & Perina, K. (2020). “Understanding Fight, Flight, Freeze and the Fawn Response.” Psychology Today. Retrieved from www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/addiction-and-recovery/202008/understanding-fight-flight-freeze-and-the-fawn-response#:~:text=Flight%20includes%20running%20or%20fleeing,person%20to%20avoid%20any%20conflict
Khiron Trauma Clinics (2021). “The Subtle Effects of Trauma: People Pleasing.” Retrieved from khironclinics.com/blog/people-pleasing/
Davis, S. (2022). “Rejection Trauma and the Freeze/Fawn Response.” C-PTSD Foundation. Retrieved from cptsdfoundation.org/2022/02/21/rejection-trauma-and-the-freeze-fawn-response/
Ryder, G., & Gepp, K. (2022). “The Fawn Response: How Trauma Can Lead to People-Pleasing.” Psych Central. Retrieved from psychcentral.com/health/fawn-response